Take the Time to Learn to Love and Appreciate Yourself
There is no doubt in my mind that you have heard this many times before: you must first love yourself.
This raises an interesting question, however: who gets you a hot cocoa while you're feeling chilly? No, I don't think that's what we're here for. Is it being able to do everything you want, whenever you want? Is it a matter of wearing warm clothing when the weather is frigid?
To learn to treat oneself with the tenderness of a parent is to practice self-love.
Whether you're an adult or not, there is always a part of you that is a child. This is what you're feeling. You still behave like a 3- or 4-year-old when you're at that level. You can't age or mature your feelings. It's still possible to grow up, however. These are ways you may learn to appreciate and manage them. Taking care of your inner child is something you can learn to do.
In the absence of your inner child, you act like a four-year-old boy or girl in an adult environment. You're terrified of the outside world and don't know what to do, where to get assistance, or how to keep yourself safe. This is an extremely time-consuming and demanding process. Fear, uncertainty, and exhaustion will always be a part of your life. As a youngster in a grown-up world, it's difficult to maintain one's sanity. Most of the time, you'll be enraged, terrified, and disoriented.
What's the reason behind this? As a result of no one caring for the little child who is within you.
Assuming your name is Charlotte, here are some things to keep in mind. You are 42 years old. Deep inside your being, Charlotte resides. four years old. Charlotte will feel neglected if you are preoccupied with other people, business, moving about, or any of the many other things you have to attend to during the day. The exhaustion that comes from always helping others and making sure their needs are met will cause you to weep in your sleep every night. The occasional outburst is to be expected. You'll be enraged for no apparent reason (but there is one).
Your inner child is trying to attract your attention with all of these powerful feelings.
Assume you have a four-year-old girl called Charlotte in your life, along with all of your other family members and friends. She's never been noticed by anybody. Nobody is looking after her at all. "Shut up!" is what you tell her whenever she attempts to say anything and catches your attention. You tell yourself, "I have to take care of my parents, my job, my spouse, my papers, my friends, my other children, and my home." You're wasting my time!
How do you think she'll react to this? Who knows where she's going to end up? She would first attempt to gain your attention by displaying strong feelings. She cries a lot, screams and shouts, and she may even get violent at times. You may blame the outside world for your frustrations, but your inner child is enraged with you! Because you don't care about her, she's upset and furious. You're acting as if she doesn't even exist! The worst thing we can do is pretend that our inner child doesn't exist at all. To live in this manner is to pretend that we don't exist.
Being unfaithful to one's own interests is the worst feeling in the world. This is the absolute worst!
How many times have we ignored our own feelings to appease someone else? How many times have we told our inner child, "Shut up, you're not important, the other one is much more important than you are," or "Go away, I don't want to hear you, I don't want to see you."to say the least. This is what happens when the other person's wants come before our own.
What will Charlotte, the tiny girl within, decide to do? After a time, she'll give up. She would finally give up on attempting to express her feelings after a lengthy period of time. Because of all of this, she is going to grow sad and say: "It doesn't really matter; she doesn't care about me, she doesn't want to take care of me, I'm not worth it."
Of course, you'll blame others for your depression, like your job, your children, your spouse, or your parents.
In the end, it is no one's fault except your own. Nevertheless, you must learn how to care for your inner child, who is suffering from your lack of attention.
The only thing left to draw your attention when you've become despondent and nothing seems to be changing is for tiny Charlotte to become sick. Or she'll get hurt in a mishap. It's possible that the adult Charlotte may eventually learn to pay attention to her inner kid, which is as real (if not more) than a genuine child of flesh and blood.
Self-parenting is an essential skill to master.
How do you explain it?
To begin with, cultivate a relationship with your inner mother. If you were fortunate enough to have had a mother who was both loving and nurturing, you may use her as a model. If you don't, you'll have to design and construct your own feminine nurturing energy, your inner mother. Once a day, your inner mother should question your inner child: "What's going on?" Let your inner child tell you what you need to hear. After that, the conversation continues. "Come here," the inner mother tells you. I want to hold you and tell you how much I appreciate you just the way you are. I tell you, "I adore you for who you are."
Emotional heaviness will diminish significantly as a result of this action. "I get it" is all you say after that. These phrases are crucial since we often attempt to repress or dismiss our sentiments because we don't feel like we're "normally" experiencing them. This just makes them heavier. Come to me in your mother's arms; I adore you, my dear.
After a few minutes of contemplation, ask yourself, "What do you need?"
"We will ask this of your father," you reply, no matter what the child says.
That's where your inner father comes in; he's the one who looks out for you and represents you in the world. In neither the workplace nor with neighbors, would you ever entrust your four-year-old with the task of asking for a raise? What's the point? Send your inner father out into the world to take care of whatever has to be done. Your inner child's intuition, which is found in your inner child, is the masculine energy that empowers you to follow your inner guidance (placed in your inner father) and bring your child's aspirations into the physical world.
Assume that your inner child is at home with his mother, who takes care of his emotions ("I understand you're terrified..."), and that your inner father (another part of your soul) goes out there to act when he has a need, such as calling someone or going someplace. When it comes to dealing with the outer world, your inner father is the part of you that can manage the stress, take action, resolve problems, and do all those other things. It's up to you to fill in the blanks if you didn't have a suitable model when you were younger.
Of course, you have an inner child, a mother, and a father. It's all up to you. Using this paradigm, you may better grasp what is going on inside of you and how to develop self-acceptance.
Loving yourself means paying attention to your inner child, taking his or her feelings seriously and acting on them in the direction you want. Loving yourself means having this conversation with yourself every time you wake up, every time you go to sleep, and every time you feel an emotion.
Self-love is the process of cultivating a deep sense of intimacy with oneself.
It's like building a loving family for yourself from the inside out. You will no longer feel lonely. You're three already! Think of it as the trinity. From now on, everywhere you go, you'll be accompanied by members of your inner family. We have all been there. You are loved and safeguarded. You are a treasure. You pay heed to your inner voice and tend to the needs of that special little child who has been patiently waiting for your love and attention for a long time.
You may think of this as self-healing.