Develop Emotional Intelligence by Feeling Your Emotions
When a guy is going home in the early morning hours of the weekend, he spots another man, clearly intoxicated, crawling down the street on his hands and knees. He inquires of the inebriated guy, "What are you searching for?" The guy responds, "My home keys," to this. He inquires, "Where did you leave them?" "Two blocks away," he mumbles. Why, then, don't you look there? Perplexed, he inquires. "Because the light is so much nicer here," she said.
During my first training and education, I had a lot of self-doubt. As for me, some may think I've gone too far the other way now. None of the self-hypnosis and basic NLP procedures I had learnt worked for me in dealing with this lack of confidence and doubt in my abilities to accomplish my goals. While I no longer had the butterflies in my stomach, I did not have the courage to pursue the things I wanted to achieve (what if everything went wrong and I failed?). Amazing things occurred once I stopped rejecting and battling the worried sensation for a while and just let myself feel it. I was a little anxious, but then it went away! My mind was blown. All those months and years of battling it, all I really wanted to do was to experience it. When I finally accepted the truth, I was able to give up my resistance.
Doing this can help you become more aware of your own personal map of the world.
"Meet people where they are" is one of the presuppositions of NLP. A more in-depth examination of what it means to see things from someone else's perspective or to be aware of someone else's experience is best left for another time. My effective therapeutic consultation throughout the years has been strong confirmation to me that I am capable of doing this with others, but prior to all of that, I suddenly realized that I had not been meeting myself at my own map of the world. It's a well-known fact that when you battle with yourself, someone always loses - and when you fight with yourself, that someone is always you. Because of this, I decided to stop battling and denying my emotions and instead acknowledge and work with them.
What's the point of all this? The first step in dealing with a sensation you don't like is to make a mental map of the emotion. That sensation is in your body somewhere, and it's simply a matter of finding where it is in your body. I used to experience a fluttering sensation in the pit of my stomach that would expand into my chest and back down again as I resisted it more. You may even think about what temperature it is, what color it would be if it had a color, and so on. This can help you better understand the sensation.
In spite of what most people claim to know, you'd be surprised at how many people have no idea what they're experiencing physically, and they simply let it happen without paying attention to what they're feeling. The first stage is to establish the physical characteristics of emotions (including their chemistry and many other components).
Accept the sensation. Accept that you are experiencing these emotions. Again, if you'd want additional information on how to accept the things in your life, you can find it in the archives of "Adam Up" on my website.
This may be difficult for some individuals, who will undoubtedly remark things like "But I don't want to feel it" or "I shouldn't be feeling it.". I'm sure some of you are thinking that.
Changing your sentiments may be accomplished most rapidly by meeting yourself at your map of the world and accepting that presenting sensation that you are experiencing. This is what you need to know. If you don't do this, you're only rejecting or fighting it, as I was doing when I first learned about this. So any effort to alter it must begin from a place where you do not now exist, and this seldom results in success (as our tipsy man looking for his keys on the wrong street can attest to.)
That's when the good purpose is discovered. What is your body or your subconscious trying to tell you, and how can you listen? It's possible that our emotions are trying to tell us something. They might also be just experiences that our bodies are designed to experience. What is this sensation doing for you or attempting to tell you, and how can you use it to your advantage?
Feel it, then. It's there. Don't try to force or resist it; instead, just experience it. Also, don't forget to take a deep breath.
The beautiful thing about this is that you don't have to do it for long, but it's nice to feel something. In spite of how unpleasant it may be, the fact that you are aware of your feelings demonstrates your life, even if you don't like them. It's a wonderful thing to be able to recognize and realize these two facts about oneself. Accepting and realizing a sensation might often be all it takes to put it into a new light.
The last step is to experiment with the sensation.
Increase the sensation. It's been slashed in half. It doesn't matter whether something is one color, going in one direction, or a set size; experiment around with the variables to see how much control you really have over the emotion you're experiencing. When you realize how much power you really have, I believe you'll be taken aback.
As you get more life experience, you'll discover how much control you have over your thoughts and emotions. Feelings can't be proven to be real or incorrect, as you may find out for yourself. They have no genuine significance. They're nothing more than physical feelings you're having. While they'll remain there for the time being if you try to fight against them, accepting and playing with them might lead to new possibilities. Is this a promise that you'll never feel awful again? Not at all. Despite the fact that sentiments may come and go, you can begin to experience more and more of the emotions you want. I'm sure that whatever you're hoping to accomplish in life, you'll be looking for more and more positive experiences to punctuate it.
So, take advantage of today and make an effort to diffuse positive energy around you.